NOTES from “NOTEBOOK”

By Mario Gregorio Masangkay
Baranggay Kagawad, Sta. Cruz, Ibajay, Aklan

 

I’ve just come up the house from burying the stray kitten I found beside the creek four days ago. It was literally hair, skin and bones. It was dragging its hind feet, and it was infested with maggots. A caveman still alive in Barangay Sta. Cruz must have thrown it away.

I tried to eradicate or remove the maggots by plugging their holes with petroleum jelly and pulling them out whenever they reared out of the jelly to breathe. I knew it would die when it refused to eat on Tuesday noon. It was dead in the morning of the next day; the maggots already consumed about half of its abdomen. I couldn’t call or take it to the veterinarian, because the veterinarian is stuck on page 989 of my Merriam-Webster dictionary. This is in Ibajay, an agricultural municipality in an agricultural province.

Way back, I read this sign posted on the wall of an anthill: “ACCOUNT ANT Inquire Inside”. Did it do accounts? Woe is me - - an ant is smarter than I: It can’t be. I looked up ACCOUNT ANT in the “Libro it Anwang ag Baka”. The “Libro” says: ACCOUNT ANT (noun, singular): tax fraud assist ant. Oh, so it assists only.

On the 10 th of April, in a joking mood, I sent this SMS to a former classmate; “Bataan Day is past today. How old are you, Jaypee?” She replied, “T9”, adding that her “silver linings” can’t be hidden anymore. The magic “hungot” defines “silver linings” as “mga kurinot”.

A reflexologist who charges P300 (three hundred pesos) per treatment says that water therapy is one of God’s most effective method of healing. He says water therapy cures tuberculosis, cancer, rheumatism, diabetes, hepatitis, and various other incurable diseases. I was doubtful. Where in the Bible is it mentioned? In Genesis 7:11 & 12 and 17 – 23 and Exodus 14:27-28, he snapped. SUS, I froze in 20 degrees Celsius.

Some people ask when the next election would be. Why do you ask, I say. One said she needs a toilet bowl; another said he wants a hand pump for the well he dug, and one must have a kilowatt-hour meter. A woman wants a certain length of electric wires. These things used to be given free by candidates or political parties, without doubt, in exchange for votes. I haven’t an idea who corrupts whom in instances like these - - the candidate corrupts, or the voter corrupts? It’s like “ a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel. . .in the windmill of your mind”.

The National Irrigation Administration-Panakuyan River Irrigation System (NIA-PRIS) floods rice fields with rainwater and rubbish (bottles, animal corpses, disposable nappies, plastic wrappers and shopping bags, light bulbs, fluorescent tubes, shoes, old clothes), any thing that water can carry during heavy rains. I saw two disposable syringes with needles floating among deodorant canisters and rice husks in the main canal. One ditch or water tender keeps one eye crossed hoping against hope that the rubbish would come out of the water and disappear into thin air. EEEENNGNGNGKKK? Pila anang sweldo?

August is “Buwan ng Wika” or national language week in the Philippines. A slogan pertaining to Pilipino (now, Filipino) alias Tagalog as the national language says: “ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay higit pa sa hayop at malansang isda. National hero Jose Rizal was supposed to have written this statement referring to Tagalog. I have always interpreted this statement as: one who does not love Tagalog alias Pilipino/Filipino is better than an animal or a smelly fish. I am sure I’m correct. Jose Rizal himself wrote in Spanish, and he was made the national hero number one. Rafael Palma wrote the entire national anthem in Spanish, and he called it “Marcha Filipina”, which a Tagalista translated very incorrectly as “Lupang Hinirang (Chosen Land)”. One who doesn’t love Tagalog/Pilipino/Filipino is really better than a fish.